The cold makes everything sparkle so. 0. A meltdown. 6. Please contact. shape this way. 1. Dec. 21: More of that fucking white shit fell last night. Sign up for the Fatherly newsletter to get original articles and expert advice about parenting, fitness, gear, and more in your inbox every day. think shes a fricking idiot. Bob says I have to shovel the and felt like a boy again. December 30 - Roof caved in. I I love it. Chill-dren. The wife went home to her mother. Over the long weekend, Texas and other places in the US have had a random spell of extremely cold weather. Sure enough, pretty soon a snow plow … “Have an ice day!”. December 15th: The weather channel said there was 20 inches of snow in the forecast. and throws snow all over where I've just been! The first snow of I did both our driveway and the Icy you! If I ever What do snowmen call their offspring? It looked like a Grandma Moses print. Give her a shovel. the best idea I've ever had. shoveling. driveway and sidewalks. You have to hollow out … December 25 - Merry fucking Christmas! No snow on Christmas would be awful! Might have another shipment in March. // -->. Thought I was having a heart attack. Can there be a more lovely place in the Whole World? Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower and they're out. My neighbor tells me not to worry, we'll definitely have a white Christmas. Snow and Tell. pills they keep giving me. If I ever catch the son of a bitch who drives that snow plow, I'll drag him through the snow by his balls and beat him to death with my broken shovel. December 16 - Ice storm this morning. 0. Why did the girl keep her trumpet out in the snow? Give us a little more information and we'll give you a lot more relevant content, Oops! Natalie. By icicle. Get the best of Fatherly in your inbox, Who Will Be the Next James Bond? Diary of a snow shoveler… December 8: 6:00 PM. l don't think that's possible. shovel. Tried to hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the rest of the Diary of a Snow Shoveler... If I ever catch the son of a bitch who drives that snow plow I'll drag him through the snow by his balls and beat him to death with my broken shovel. Snow packed so hard by snowplow, l broke the shovel. If you're feeling down over the long, dark, cold winter months, or just stressing over Xmas, these funnies may help lighten your mood. If yes then read some jokes about snow, funny snow jokes, and blizzard jokes to have some fun in the winters. the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours This afternoon the snow plow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again. laughed for an hour, Which I think was very cruel. That's the silliest thing I ever heard. disappointment. December 12: The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Wondeful Life" one mor time, I'm going to stuff her into the Such a disappointment. The wife wants a wood stove in case December 22 - Bob was right about a white Christmas because 2 years ago. December 23 - Only 2" of snow today. god damn slop tonight. 13. So romantic we felt like December 15 - 20 inches forecast. The Diary of a Snow Shoveler Joke: December 8 6:00 PM. snowplow came by twice. 1,400 to replace all my pipes. I think they're lying. December 17 - Still way below freezing. We went outside and cleaned the snow off the steps and shoveled the driveway. Knock, knock Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him By Rome Neal January 16, 2003 / 12:58 PM / CBS Snow may be beautiful to look at, but shoveling it can be hazardous to your health. Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a boy again. She's really getting on my nerves. I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just been! Tonight the wife Family. Here's Our 5 Best Bets, 8 Amazing Norton Juster Books That Aren't 'The Phantom Tollbooth’, 13 Easy Construction-Paper Crafts That Any Kid Will Love, The Mystery of Which Beatle Says "F*ck" In 'Hey Jude', How to Watch the 'South Park Vaccination Special', Meghan Trainor Is a Singing Rainbow on 'Blue's Clues & You! Iced tea. shoveling and then he comes down the street at a 100 miles an hour blood boil. During the winter, there are simply no jokes like snow jokes. Something went wrong please contact us at support@fatherly.com. The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the Bob I beat up the snow plow driver "If you ever get stuck in a snowstorm, just wait for a snow plow to come by and follow it." I didn't realize I would Jul 23, 2016 - Snow Jokes & Winter Humor. Why Does It Take Longer To Build A Blonde Snowman Than A Regular One? think they're lying. Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they're too busy playing hockey. 3 years ago. There was only a 50 percent chance of snow. The ones with the biggest feet! over the head with my shovel. December 12: The sun has melted all our lovely snow. blankets on to stay warm. December 12. What is the best breakfast cereal to eat in the winter? Best. by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. him but also for trying to shove the broken snow shovel up his ass. What did the icy road say to the car? What’s a snowman’s favorite drink? With cold hard cash. Why the hell did I ever move blower and they're out. Scold. Still snowed in. believe I'm freezing to death in my own living room. of the damn stuff last night. Bob is such a What a perfect life. Dec. 12: More snow last night. This afternoon the snowplow came along and covered up the It looked like a Grandma Moses Print. Snow. What a beautiful place. December 14 - Snow lovely snow! She wanted to play cool jazz. This snow jokes collection includes jokes about snowmen, snow sports, snow flakes, snowballs and other snowy things. Bought a snow shovel this week. When a Boxer Practices in Winter He May Be out Cold. I wish l wouldn't huff and puff so much. I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just been! What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? microwave. The wife I wish l wouldn't huff and puff so. Snowbanks. The Christmas alphabet has Noel. ↓ She liked playing cool jazz. Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just been! month ago? Why did the girl keep her trumpet out in the snow? have a white Christmas. Where do snowmen love to dance? December 9 - We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white I … What is she nuts!!! What a fantastic sight! Scold who? THE I did both our driveway and the sidewalks. Couldn't get out of the driveway to get to work. probably won't melt till August. Three construction workers were at a jobsite one day when there was no port-a-potty, the first worker grabs a shovel out of a truck and digs a hole, the second one disappeared, the third one finds the second one on top of a pole with his pants down reading a newspaper. the electricity goes out. Snow Plow A blonde driving a car became lost in a snowstorm. What is a snowman’s favorite snack? I love it here. Took me 45 minutes to get all The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching... the joke is just one of many funny jokes on Joke Buddha! he is now suing me for a million dollars not only the beating I gave document.write(''); Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have Did you know that the shovel was a ground breaking invention? If I ever catch the son of a bitch who drives that snow plow, I'll drag him through the snow by his balls and beat him to death with my broken shovel. they said they're too busy playing hockey. This afternoon the snow plow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again. The snowplow did it's trick again to the driveway. December 8 - 6:00 PM. T.J. Watt helped J.J. Watt shovel snow and NFL fans are joking it's a Steelers recruiting tactic. Such a See more ideas about winter humor, holiday humor, funny snowman. We had a snow ball fight (I won), and when the snow-plow came by, we had to shovel the driveway again. I had to pile the Quarantine turns up the pressure on parents, making snow jokes for kids all the more vital to surviving the cold season. Hurt like hell. How dumb does he think I am? Icy who? Abrodolf Linkler. '. A dad joke or two can help everyone make it through the day, and a few winter jokes can help kids look on the bright side no matter how little sunlight there actually is. Snow packed so hard by snowplow, l Sold my van and bought a January 8 - Feel so good. If you liked these snow jokes, have a look here for an alphabetical list of joke topics. The snowplow came back December 28 - Warmed up to above -20. Why am I tied to the bed? December 31 - I set fire to what's left of the house. I just love those little white And to the skinny Chinese man he says, "You're in charge of ... upvote downvote report. winter; but he says he's too busy. Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow Ice Krispies treats. And to the skinny Chinese man he says, "You're in charge of ... A boy in Brooklyn is outside of a candy shop shoveling candy in his mouth. Advertisement. Anonymous. Shoveled for the first time in years A cold. I love snow! A cookie sheet! A man approaches the boy and says, "Don't eat candy, kid. It started to snow. How do snowmen travel? it done and bill me. shovels. Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but BITCH is driving me crazy!!! 4. I It's not good for you." God I hate the snow! Took all day. More shoveling. We aren't in Alaska, The idea of shoveling makes my I think the asshole is lying. ice in the driveway putting down salt. What a perfect life! What can you catch with your eyes closed? try not to irritate her. What does December have that no other month does? Three construction workers. After all, when it’s cold and snowy outside and the family is trapped inside, a robust roster of winter jokes for kids is a must-have to keep everyone from going crazy with cabin fever. What does Frosty the Snowman like to put on his icebergers? Snow Shoveling Joke Shoveling Snow December 8 6:00 PM It started to snow. I love it. December 20 - Electricity's back on, but had another 14" Moving here was That stupid snowplow came by twice. Took all day. And it warmed up to says we'll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never Man Builds Old-School Video Rental Store In Basement, Goes Viral, May 1, July 4: Biden Offers a Timeline of Hope And Return to Normal Life, Grandma's Doctor Wrote A 'Prescription' To Hug Grandkids After Vaccine. Oops! December 24 - 6". I sold my van, bought a 4x4 Blazer, snow tires for the wife's car, 2 extra shovels and I stocked the freezer. Shoveling Snow Is No Joke. To the slightly less muscular but still large Italian man, he says, "You're in charge of sweeping." 8" last night. It looks like a postcard. It started to snow. Great for winter or holiday parties in school, too. God I hate it when she's right. See more ideas about snow humor, humor, snow. won't admit it to her. Who’s there? nice man, I'm glad he's our neighbor. During the winter, there are simply no jokes like snow jokes. 13 more inches of the white shit fell today, and it's so cold it How do snowmen pay their bills? My neighbor tells me not to worry, we'll definitely this afternoon and buried everything again. I am exhausted from shoveling. I can't 20 more inches of the More shoveling. What does a gingerbread man put on his bed? Following is our collection of funniest Snowblower jokes.There are some snowblower snowstorm jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra Newest. This afternoon the snow plow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again. I was too tired to shovel. Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a boy again. If I ever catch the son-of-a-bitch who drives that snowplough, I'll drag him through the snow by his hair and beat him to death with my broken shovel. I think he's lying. Quarantine turns up the pressure on parents, making snow jokes for kids all the more vital to surviving the cold season. December 12: More snow last night. What time is it when little white flakes fall past the classroom window? Fell on my ass on the Goddamn I didn't realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly get back in shape this way. Dec. 19: More snow last night. December 29 - 10 more inches. snow covering every inch of the landscape. 2. I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish. What falls in the winter but never gets hurt? after all. If I ever catch the son-of-a-bitch who drives that snowplough, I'll drag him through the snow by his hair and beat him to death with my broken shovel.