A big list of cashier jokes! I work in customer service. "Sales without Customer Service is like stuffing money into a pocket full of holes." From simple one liners to more complex anecdotes, here is our selection of funny call centre, customer service and telephone jokes, mailed in by you. “That’s it!” he says. They boasted their fast internet speeds, lower prices, and amazing customer service. Absolutely hillarious dirty one-liners! And make sure the glass is clean.' See TOP 10 health one liners. Customer service is hard work. We’ve casted about for the funniest fishing jokes, puns, and one-liners out there, and we’ve found some whoppers. “No,” she said. Told to get himself something, he bought a shirt. There is No Such Thing as a Dumb Question, Except for These: Most casinos also offer free spins and no deposit bonuses the Poker Jokes 1 Liners more you play with them. Funny Customer Service Sayings and Quotes. 2. [. While I was out to lunch, my coworker answered my phone and told the caller that I would be back 
in 20 minutes. It looks like a cross between a metal slotted spoon and a spatula, so I 
use it as both. She was confused so I told her that it was a game with a black guy who crashed his car, sleeps with prostitutes, and attacks people with his golf club. What will you be shredding primarily? He called back to inform me that he would not be coming in because, as he put it, “I have a new obstetrician.”. Clerk: Is that a documentary? Modern management speak (Thanks to Tim W) Net Lag: … I was working in Army security when a VIP from another base called to ask to whom he should address an important letter. The first said: 'I’ll have red.' Scene: Me using the Siri app on my iPhone. Siri: Samantha McLaughlin is not in your contacts. “It never ceases to amaze me that companies spend millions to attract new customers (people they don’t know) and spend next to nothing to keep the ones they’ve got! Tech Support: “Customer Support, this is David, may I help you?”. Brighten up your day and entertain your team with these customer service quotes that are sure to make you laugh out loud. Getting a Raise. I explained that was not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of 
the state. Man: "No I don't think you understand... Chunks is my dog!" When I bought beer at the 
grocery store, the clerk asked for 
my birthdate. ... to be fluent in two languages—one of which was pig Latin. So today, less than 48 hours later I took it back to the shop and asked if I could get a refund, A man returns to his home town in Russia after 30 years. Tech Support: “Oh, sorry.”. E, s, m, i, e.”. More jokes about: communication, customer service, money, travel, work An usher at a movie theatre notices a customer laying across three seats near the back of the theatre. While several of the robbers take the money from the tellers, others line the customers, including the waiters, up against a wall, and proceed to take their wallets, watches, and other valuables. Absolutely hillarious car one-liners! They were sizes 30, 31, and 32, but I was looking for size 33. You’re so dumb you thought Taco Bell was a phone company. “I’m sorry, I can’t,” she said. It was a connecting rod that should have been marked "A. All sorted from the best by our visitors. Sales jokes also help your sales staff break the tension. Applying for life insurance. Me: Call my wife. While going through his 
deceased father’s things, a man finds a 25-year-old claim check for a shoe repair. This is why one liners are such a valuable part of a great server’s repertoire. A stoned student was copying whatever the teacher writes on the black board, but every time the teacher clears the blackboard he throws away the paper. David Tooman, Customer Service Professional "I don't like customer service, because I don't believe the customer should have to pay and help out too." Customer: Collard greens. He tells the customer that he can only take up one seat. Do you have the box? I would like to commend driver Lea 
Schroeder for the following reasons: Customer:... A military base commander called to complain that the weather-forecasting software our company created for them kept reporting 
unexplainable wind shifts. Joke a customer told me when I used to work at a call center. A waiter asked his two customers: 'Red or white?' Do you have the box? Coworker: We have all types of shredders. Domino’s: We’re sorry to hear about this! Ad from a printer I will not be doing business with: “We offer a full line of pricing options that will meet or exceed your printing budget.”. The more comfortable your customer feels with you, the more likely you’ll be able to close the sale. Customer: “Hello, yes, it’s me.”. “Honey,” she said, “today is senior day. “Maybe the list is alphabetical,” 
I offered. Coworker: We have all types of shredders. I discovered that I’d spent an hour walking around a mall with a shoe store’s “Feel the Comfort” sticker stuck to my body. Working in customer service already did that. Find helpful customer reviews and review ratings for Jokes for Kids: The Best Jokes, Riddles, Tongue Twisters, Knock-Knock jokes, and One liners for kids: Kids Joke books ages 7-9 8-12 at Amazon.com. We recommend our users to update the browser. When my customer ordered 
iced tea, I asked, “Sweetened or 
unsweetened?” Her answer: “What’s the difference?”, The bean soup I’d ordered was mostly water. Which one asked for the clean glass?' Boss/worker jokes are always funny. The woman asked, 
“Is that 20 minutes Central Standard Time?”. When the police officer arrived, he asked, “When were you last driving the car?” “Last night at 11:00,” I said. Customer Rep: Ma’am, we’ll need the exact name of the item. • I'm a butcher. This is a compilation of funny, quick, short one liner jokes and sayings about money. “Yes,” she said. One Liner; Wedding; Customer Service; Office; Top Jokes. Call customer service to dispute the purchase. ", In hopes of finding her children, she talked to the employee at the Customer Service kiosk. “Excuse me?” Says the man “why would you need all that milk for?” . See TOP 10 blonde one liners. All rated by visitors and sorted from the best. So he started searching from the bottom of the list: “Q … Q … Q …”. As normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… I do enjoy getting cash out of the bank and then throwing it in the river and watching it float away. While this is going on, the first waiter jams something in the other waiters hand. Siri: Samantha McLaughlin is not in your contacts. "Sam walks into his boss's office and says 'Sir, I'll be straight with you, I know the economy isn't great, but I have over three companies after me, and I would like to respectfully ask for a raise.' After some searching, the agent came back with, "I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a Hippopotamus anywhere." “Of course,” I said. A woman called the Colorado State Division of Wildlife regarding a snake in her backyard. “Well you see, its a beauty tip. All rated by visitors and sorted from the best. More humiliating? The biggest laughs come from jokes that take little more than a sentence to deliver. An HR manager was knocked down (tragically) by a bus and was killed. You’ll begin to build a relationship with your prospective customer, and you’ll put them at ease. A black man heard about a trip to go to Africa and experience his real culture, and it was at a discounted price of $1000.00. Here’s how much of America heard the news. So I asked the owner if he had a pair. She nearly comes to a complete stop now when I disembark, so I haven’t fallen in almost a week. 8. This week’s puns and one liners are based on the theme of banking jokes. My coworker quoted him the price, then added, “But there’s a surcharge if we have to listen to how your mother made you throw out all your old vinyl records.”. He sees a shoe shop that he remembers from his time living there and goes in. The barbershop was crowded, 
so the woman at the cash register 
offered to put my name on the 
waiting list. “Didn’t you keep the original copy?” I asked. It is a fine line for a server. “I know,” she said. ... One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Most importantly, funny jokes — even coronavirus and quarantine jokes — bring us together and help us to feel connected, one pandemic quarantine pod to another. Customer service: We’ve all been there. You’re so fat when you jumped up you got stuck. You need to listen what they are saying and what they want. Celebrate March 14—aka Pi Day—with these corny math jokes, puns, and one-liners. Man: "There is something wrong with your beer, it made me blow chunks!" I work for RONCO's Customer Service on CA, and I had this weird call some days ago... Me: Thank you for calling Ronco's Customer Service… Here is a selection of jokes and funny stories that we have been sent in over the last few months. The largest collection of the best one line jokes in the world. All sorted from the best by our visitors. If you do not understand English, press 2. Taking "customer service" to a whole new level. It was a particularly busy day, so the man thinks "Great, by the time I get another spoon, my soup will be cold." Look at their oddball requests: A patron offered me $100 to steal 
a cactus from somebody’s yard. ONE has created some tools and resources to better assist our customers with their UP-G4 reservation requests. Modern management speak (Thanks to Tim W) Net Lag: … See TOP 10 car one liners. “Don’t lie to me,” he said. Excited at the prospect of a generous tip, the waiter tried his best to please Mr.Gates and his date. “I don’t like bean soup either.”. I was eating at a fast-food restaurant when an employee began his shift by walking into the kitchen area and calling out, “Honey, I’m home!”. [Pause] Oh, and gimme an extra white milk. Client to designer: “It doesn’t really look purple. The largest collection of health one-line jokes in the world. The... 2. So I can call the hotel for you." “Can you describe it?” I asked. ... One evening last week，my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Funny Customer Service Jokes. Human Resources Jokes. When they tell you they need one more week to think it over … on the last week of the month. If she’s running behind, she tells me, “Sit your butt down,” in a courteous way. "Yes, what flights do you have?" Of course, if these were in a library, it is unlikely that the Dewey Decimal system … “Was anything wrong with them?” the clerk asked. They are not always great jokes. That's why Alberta Venture includes this tale as one of its top "office-approved" jokes. Most of our music store customers have a story about their old vinyl collection. There are milking machines out there. This lady's completely out of place; dressed to the nines, talk-to-the-manager haircut, the works. Customer service: "Well ya, it'll do that." The DMV was as crowded and noisy as ever. Scene: A secondhand movie 
exchange ... Me: Do you have the DVD of 
Sharknado? Honestly, Officer, I wouldn’t have pulled over had I known you were just going to criticize me. Customer (minutes later): Never mind, I … The farmer was convinced and both of them went to the city and, All I said was, "Karen, stop yelling at the customer service rep.". A tenant?”. “No,” said the boy. One of my insurance customers faxed over the police report from an auto accident. #9 – 1. Don't worry: Unlike pi, it won't go on forever. Scene: Inside a Best Buy store. “We call it job security.”. The way she suddenly starts and stops, rides the rear bumper of the car ahead, and pulls several Gs of force when she turns corners unfailingly 
elevates my heart rate. “Of course,” I said. Get a laugh out of our collection of call center jokes and funny customer service jokes. Tell a joke and your lead will lighten up a little. At the supermarket checkout, the cashier was having trouble finding the price for my cucumber. Me: Our horses are very sweet … Mom: Don’t you have something smaller? A one liner is the punctuation to a comment or sentence that occurs naturally in conversation with a table. If you have come across any good call centre jokes please drop us a line and we’ll see if we can publish them. A farmer ordered a high-tech milking machine. Just look at all the joints!" I phoned a local restaurant to ask if it was on the north or south side of Main Street. Hope you get a nice little chuckle out of them. She frequently doesn’t stop for... A woman called the Colorado State Division of Wildlife regarding a snake in her backyard. 3. You will also find customer service sayings to understand […] A: Only one, but she has to do 
it while you’re eating dinner. Scene: Horseback-riding stable. “They hurt my feelings.”... My collection of vintage kitchen utensils includes one whose intended purpose was always a mystery. She shook her head. Not to mention how they boasted supporting net neutrality. I was at the customer-service desk, returning a pair of jeans that was too tight. She frequently doesn’t stop for me when I’m waiting at the bus stop, but she always waves as she goes by. The only qualification for working at an airline is making 
a confused face at a monitor. Man: "No I don't think you understand... Chunks is my dog!" • Someone once asked, “Is this the museum?” I work at a pool. From old favorites … Is that all right?” The boy became very quiet. • A few of the things customers have asked for at our art-supply store include disco balls, trees, and crucifixion wood. Most of our music store customers have a story about their old vinyl collection. A man phones the customer service of a beer company. Human Resources. Me: No, but it’s the Roundup Multi Purpose Sprayer. He called back to inform me that he would not be coming in because,... A man called, furious about an Orlando, Florida, vacation package we had booked for him: He was 
expecting an ocean-view hotel 
room. Three insurance salesmen were sitting in a restaurant boasting about each of their companies’ services. Click here for more information. Librarians may be shy, but their patrons aren’t. My friend, an intern, was given $50 to get the chairman of the bank some lunch. Home > Clean One Liner Puns Home Men vs Women Jokes Dumb Criminals Old Age Jokes Girlie Wisdom Out of the Mouth of Babes Answer This Computer Jokes Engineer Jokes Physics Jokes Flying Jokes Christian Jokes Choir Proficiency Test Legal Jokes Regional Jokes Montana Florida Florida Hurricanes New England Pacific Northwest Miscellaneous Jokes One Liners Pet Animal Jokes Police Jokes Puns Work Jokes